What’s in Your Glass?

We all know the idiom, “is your glass half empty or half full?” I generally think of myself as a half full type of person, but in the past few months I’ve seen more and more my propensity towards being an Eeyore. It’s the insidious little comments that all start adding up and then somehow the optimistic room is shrouded in doubt and blah. Of course these moments come most often when I’m tired, hungry or feeling vulnerable. Not being my bestest ever self, but that is no excuse. And the more I think about this half emptiness, the more I see the pattern, and I’ve talked about this before, “it must be my fault.” Last night we heard a knocking sound, my first assumption was that it was our upstairs neighbours trying to tell us to turn down our telly. Now our neighbours have never knocked on the floor in nearly two years, so it is hard to imagine why the NT Live performance of Twelfth Night would be particularly infuriating, but that is where my mind went to — straight away. Needless to say the random knocking had nothing to do with us whatsoever! Why then is my automatic reaction – it must be something I’m doing wrong? Some might say low self esteem, but I don’t think that is actually it. I think it is simply a habit. A habit formed many years ago. A habit that lingers. A habit that is tough to beat. As children we internalise the outside messages in different ways. I internalised the belief that if someone was upset or feeling wronged the most likely cause was me. How does one overcome the “it’s probably me” syndrome? The same as with any change in thought pattern. Recognise, reframe and repeat. Change is possible. Keep drinking from the same thing from the same glass and you will get the same results, but change the glass, change what’s in your glass and see what just might be possible. I’m gonna try some “not me” in my glass. What’s in yours?